you don't really want to do it at first, but you know you should. you know that the longer you wait, the more the snow is going to build up and it's just going to be even harder to shovel.
so you go out. it's hard and it's cold and your arms start to ache and you get tired and your fingers freeze. but you keep going. maybe you have to take breaks. maybe you have to rethink your shoveling strategy. (and yes, you have a shoveling strategy because you want to get through this as fast as you can.) and maybe you get discouraged. everyone shovels at different speeds. everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses. some people are just really really good at shoveling. some people have a lot of experience and know what to do. some people like to say really really loudly how good they are at shoveling and sometime's that's really hard to hear.
so be it. you continue to shovel.
there are different types of snow. some days it's a lot faster to shovel because the flakes are ligth and fluffy and it hasn't been that long since you shoveled last. some days the snow is wet and dense and even though it's a thin layer, it's so heavy and you get tired so quickly. there are days when areas you neglected previously turn into a layer of ice and you have to work so hard to clear away so little. be patient. maybe you just have to wait until the air warms a little.
and just when you think you're done, just when you've finally made it back to where you started, you turn back and look at all the progress you made. and. and you can only see white. it continued to snow as you shoveled and now there's nothing to show for all your hard work.
and you don't want to keep shoveling. somewhere in you, you know that this snow and this whole season will not last forever, but in this moment? when you're surrounded by white and the world seems cold and untouchable and so far away? in this moment you feel like you'll never be finished shoveling. you will never finish.
and maybe you'll turn for help. you'll say "hey this shoveling is really tiring and hard and i don't want to do this anymore and it just seems like there's so much snow. i'm always so cold and i wish it wasn't like this, you know?"
there will be people who hear you and say "well i don't really know. i've lived in this warm place all my life and it's not as great as you think it is. there are bad things that happen to me too, so you're not allowed to tell me how terrible shoveling is. yes, i don't have to shovel and i have never had to shovel and i never will have to shovel. but i don't think it's as bad as you're making it out to be. there have been days when it has been cold but i don't complain about that. you are weak." and you will have to ignore them. it will hurt. to hear them say that. but they are wrong.
there will also be people who say "wow that sucks. i've never experienced winter like you have and i've never had to shovel so i don't know what i can do to help, but i'm here for you. and if you want to talk i'll listen and try to help even if i'm not able to fully understand what you're going through." they might not be able to physically help you shovel, that's something you have to do on your own, but they are there to support you. keep them close.
there are even people who will say "hey. i've had to shovel a lot of snow before too. i know how tired you are. i am too. i know how to get through this season. i have done it before. i promise that it will end. it will be hard. but it will end. here are things that have helped me. they may not help you, but they are there." let them help you.
and so you shovel. for whatever reason. maybe one day you will turn around and see a clear path.
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